Friday 12th May 2002

Springhill Dads v Securicor
By Scoop

    Well, The kit arrived at the right place and on time, horrah!  Shame all the team didn't.  Securicor lent Craig to the Dads until their missing players turned up.  Tony Pascoe and John Lynch mysteriously didn't turn-up.  I wonder if the Sports Centre had any visitors. 

Springhill Dads
Les Maros
Tim Hart - Brian Medway - Jim Allen - Mal Barton
Rob Thorpe - Martin Kingsbury - Darren - Harry Virdee
Craig - Jon Elms
Subs: Tony O'Neill and John Frisby wandered along 20 minutes after kick-off.

     On a warm Sunday evening the game began.  The Dads were putting themselves about and Securicor were looking a little apprehensive. Then - Young midfield dynamo Martin Kingsbury, recovering from Sven's glaring omission from the world cup squad, won the ball in his own half. After beating two other players Kingsbury looked up and seeing just one option in front of him picked out Jon Elms on the left wing. The problem with Kingsbury's pace is that it often leaves him isolated as his teammates struggle to keep up.
    Elmsie took the ball at full pace and with a drop of the shoulder passed their right back. With the central defenders closing him down he saw the blue and white streak that was Kingsbury continuing his run. Amid screams of "Give it now" from the flying, gasping and wheezing player, Jon Elms fed the ball into Kingsbury's run.
    With a deft touch from his left to set the shot Kingsbury sent the keeper the wrong way and slotted home with his right. The crowd were stunned to silence, not only by the superb movement and abundance of skill from the Springhill midfield and attacker combination, but at Sven's lack of foresight that could yet cost England the world cup this June.
    England's loss is Springhill's gain, Kingsbury would have been unavailable for Sunday's game had he been named in the original squad. With England's current injury problems surely the door is not completely closed. The cry from the terrace rang for the remainder of the game at Kingsbury "England, England's number 3000003, England's 3000003"
     Always good entertainment - Mal stopped a point blank shot in the goolies and a little later was caught in no-mans land trying to mark two players and picked the option A only for option B to smack in an unstoppable drive into the bottom corner - no chance, Les.

Half time
Securicor 1 - 1 Dads

    At half time the Dads tried to keep hold of Craig but Securicor weren't having it and the second half kicked off with 12 men a-side.  Poor old Mal thought he could escape!
     Midway through the second half the Neil Quinnesque front man that is Tony O'Neill forced a corner on the right. Taking up a position on the front post O'Neill's height was causing Securicor all sorts of problems. Jockeying for position their midriff player "The Tank" made the near fatal mistake of choosing that moment to feel how soft Tony's shirt was following the addition of New Comfort to the final wash cycle. This revolutionary softener was the talk of the dressing room prior to the match. However in a cruel twist of fate this softening process has also led to a significant increase in static electricity. The Tank innocently brushed the sleeve of Tony's shirt and caused a massive discharge of electricity. This sent Tony reeling, and he imagined he had been knocked. The static then made the two players come together and they were inseparable for moments. After much struggling the static discharged and some heated words were exchanged. Tony said he would send the tank to 'Earth' the tank said Tony was lucky to be a 'Live' and a ‘Neutral’ finally broke it up. It was definitely a 'Shock' to everyone concerned and came like a 'Bolt' from the blue. It was the spark provided by O'Neill that led to the next goal. The corner produced a goal line scramble and Jim Allen smashed the ball home. Later, the Tank and Tony sportingly shook hands and exchanged laundering tips. Then near disaster, Jim back passed to Brian who stepped over allowing it to carry to Harry in goal.  Harry picked the ball up as 10 voices shrieked in unison, 'don't pick it up!' - Securicor demanded the free kick and good old Mal took another full-blooded drive, into the chest this time - Oof, he's starting to get a complex.
    The Dads were looking good for the win and then out of the blue ex-Dad Craig fired a dipping volley over Harry into the top corner.
     Jim must have been on the Lucozade, he was everywhere a right action man - perhaps he thought he was at St Mary's, trying to prevent a memorable Saints victory over the Geordie Boys.

Full time

Securicor 2 - 2 Dads

    To celebrate his goal, Max Frisby treated Martin to a splash of his favourite gel for his number one hair cut.

mom

Craig (Securicor)

NB. All text in italics and colour blue was supplied by guest writer Blue Flash.